On Competitiveness

Competitiveness. I'm over it. What once was, in younger days, motivating now drains me.

I don't want to be better than. Or have power over. What I want is to do my best. That's a whole different energy. That's drawing from a deeper well.

I want to see others rise up. Sometimes we are better at something than someone else, and in those situations I want that to inspire that person to find their own edge. To dig in a little deeper. To uncover their gifts and magick. Not to beat someone else or to show the world, but to show themselves. To explore and share what's possible.

I'm also learning to value teamwork so much more. Not co-creation of individual items, but more a co-created effort for a greater whole. Each participant can see and be appreciated for their contribution. Things aren't controlled, rather they are orchestrated. The individual pieces add the wild, unpredictable beauty to the unexpected and unimaginable finished whole.

In teamwork there's a common goal. An individual isn't rising up. They may shine or excel, but there's no proving. As they are doing their best, they are trusting that others are doing the same and encouraging them to do so.

So now competitiveness leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. This has really put a damper on card games. Or, really, any games. I'm not in it to win it. I don't want to know who's winning. Strategy kills a lot of the fun. Can "fun" be a strategy? Or playfulness? I cherish those more than points. Value laughter and connection more than shutting a board down so no one else can move. The engagement is where it's at for me, not the perfection.

At the moment that leaves me with not much interest in playing certain types of games. The ones with winners and losers. The ones where people are picked last for a team or not utilized because they aren't good. Let's change the rules. Do we have to be winners? Or can we simply be players. Less game. More play. Playing needs no rules, and it certainly doesn't need strategy. But I know for me it does need encouragement. I need to give it permission to show its sweet face. Invite it out. Not in a competitive environment, but in a safe one.

How do you create a safe place for play? How do you encourage her giggles and open up to that free place away from rules?