On books, book clubs, Her Fearful Symmetry, twins, soul mates, and obsessions
I've been thinking a bit about how looking at art books or going to museums does not excite or inspire me to go create my own art. They inspire me in other ways yet overwhelm me when I sit down and want to create my own work, convey my own messages, explore visual representations of ideas. I have several art and sculpture books, yet I rarely look at them. Novels often excite me on a visual level, especially ones of adventure and travel, fantasy, sometimes romantic leanings.
This week I finished "Her Fearful Symmetry" by Audrey Niffenegger for book club. I was one of a small handful of people who liked it in our group, and I found that my mind adapted to an imperfect novel because I liked the visual images it stirred up (spoiler alert... I will talk about all aspects of the book as if you too have read it, no synopsis... this isn't so much a review as it is a series of thoughts I'm pondering rather disjointedly).
The young twins were annoying in their codependency but aesthetically artful as esoteric characters. It was interesting to imagine twins that are mirror images. I loved imagining their neighbor Martin's flat with the stacks of boxes and individually wrapped items inside. The idea of a ghost compressing herself into a drawer sounds comforting. I can see how the book has flaws when the mind turns it over. Yet when I let go of my analytical mind, my curiosity is piqued. Now to say the book spoke to my heart would be wrong since most of the characters are despicable in their own ways. It spoke to some other part of me where things are cataloged and not heavily judged other than to say "intriguing" and to be revisited at another time, in another place, possibly out of context.
While reading, a mother figured welled up within me thinking that each character just needs a good slap and they'll snap out of their version of reality (side note: I'm not a mom and have done some work on anger issues). I could get frustrated with all the parents in this book... the slightly disinterested party-ers who overindulged their twins who weren't actually theirs since their mother gave them away, the politically powerful father who abandoned his son emotionally but not financially... the spiteful ghost who kills her own daughter, inhabits her body, and goes on to get pregnant and be a single mother... I doubt the troubled parenting cycle will be broken, especially since the father in this scenario is the very boy who was abandoned by his father. And to complete that cycle he's left a handy manuscript that will probably provide for them financially but not emotionally.
Some characters' parents were not brought to light... there was no onein particular to blame for their own freakish natures (it can't all bethe parents' burden, right?) so as readers we were left to ponder or accept or simply turn the page (at times, its own slap in the face).
Ultimately this book gave a glimpse of some interior lives rather than exterior lives. We didn't often see how the outside world responded to these characters. Instead we caught glimpses, like those movies based around characters in different hotel rooms or neighbors in a large apartment building. People can be weird, frustrating, unexplainable... and so can this book be at times. In "Her Fearful Symmetry," there were passions that became obsessions.Books that went on for thousands of pages. Cryptic crosswords impossibleto solve. Obsessions that flourished into mental illnesses. Passionsfor old books where the line blurred between profession and possession.
These quirks piqued my curiosity. I wish we'd had more time in book group to delve into some deeper issues more at length, like that of spirituality, ghosts and afterlife, rather than comments on those issues to be passing notations. It's not often that I get a chance to discuss these issues casually with people from such a range of generations and backgrounds. I wanted to hear more people's opinions and get their perspectives. It's okay for a book to be a jumping off point for discussing other things since this isn't a literary class.
When I think about this book, I definitely want to discuss death, spirituality, ghosts, cemeteries and burial rites, parenting, London, living in big cities vs. visiting them, sparking a passion in life, co-dependency, twin-ness, how fear or passion turn into obsession and then where's the line drawn at mental illness, selfishness, strong vs. weak women and strong vs. weak men (as characters in books). And I'm sure there's even more!
With all it bit off, this book didn't explain much of anything but rather raised a lot of issues for discussion. Sometimes as readers we want the author to resolve everything for us, but what if an author mostly raises questions? A book group can be great for uncovering, rolling around and processing ideas.
My favorite aspect of the book was twin-ness. I can't imagine someone in my life that was me with different parts of my psyche and personality emphasized -- to have that understanding and frustration. There are parts of myself that I hate -- what if I saw them realized in another person? Would I be able to accept them more? Or even love that person despite or because of those things?
Some people desire a twin, seeing it as the ultimate soul mate. I can't see twins as soul mates. For me a soul mate would balance my soul. Get me to see myself outside of me, to love and appreciate myself more. A soul mate would have huge similarities and huge differences. There's acceptance of having radically different histories... acceptance more than understanding in most cases.
Twins I do not see as a complete whole, whereas soul mates get closer to that concept. Twins are similar parts in different proportions, more like transparencies of an image -- the understanding and detail deepen where the images align yet the images are not incomplete on their own.
The desirable part of twin-ness to me is the idea of understanding more than acceptance. You may love something about someone, yet to truly understand that aspect and to understand them removes some component of judgement and cerebral processing of who they are. They just are and you understand that and they understand you.
I can't imagine being a twin. I feel so divided all the time as it is -- torn about decisions and pursuits and even what to eat. A twin wouldn't resolve that; it might even be magnified. Sure, I might feel comfort in having someone like me, but it wouldn't get me any closer to buying food at the grocery store (a perpetual issue for the twins in this book... they sometimes but rarely think for themselves).
In the book, I do love that we are stepping into the twins' lives right when it's on a precipice of changing. They didn't have good role models (their parents were not following their passions but rather hiding deep secrets in addictions), so they go through a vague exploring stage -- frustrating for those of us who grew up at a much younger age. They are child-like at 21, and often marveled at for this... no one truly forces them to grow up and move on until one twin gets this notion on her own (well, she's had that notion for a long time, but she doesn't know how to run with an idea on her own so she finally gets support from someone else yet she hasn't learned that when dealing with people who aren't your twin, their motives will often come into play. So, lessons are learned... but independence is still gained.)
So I rather superficially enjoyed this book for the deeper things it helped me to ponder. It takes on a lot as far as characters and plot, yet I found it a compelling read and want to lean on others to fill in the gaps of curiosity through further discussion. Given that the dislikes far outweighed the likes in our book group, I guess I won't suggest this book... but if you read it, do tell me your thoughts, insights or strike up a conversation!
ps- Many thanks if you made it to the end here... this entry could really use a great editor but time was tight & I wanted to share before thoughts led me astray down other pathways.