What are you saying YES to?
Rainy days have finally arrived in Northern California, bringing waves of relief. I've lived in this part of the world for 9 years now, and I must confess that I'm still not used to its rhythms. Syncing up with natural rhythms is a big part of my work, and yet I'm living someplace where the rhythms feel rather unnatural. This creates another opportunity for mindfulness, where I consciously take note and express gratitude for what is rather than bemoaning how it was someplace else or how it "should" be. I chose (and choose) to be here.
However, I can't erase all those memories, and every other place I've lived had widely variable weather. Rainy days, or at least rain storms, could happen year round. Waking up to an overcast day would suddenly shift my mood to baking cookies, sipping tea and reading a good book while my To Do list got set aside for another day.
Pondering that rhythm, or looking at weather as a trigger of sorts, has me thinking a lot about justifications. A random rainy day feels like a gift — why fight it? It's the perfect excuse to have a low-key, nesting, recharge day. It justifies that time. And everyone's doing it, so I feel in sync with others. And I love these kinds of days! As an introvert, that's one of my dream days (working in the studio is another). But now I live someplace where there might not be a cloud, much less rain, for 4 months. And yet, I have a hard time choosing these nesty, indoor days for myself. Even though I love them. Even though they make me happy for many days afterwards. There's something inside that grasps for a justification — if not the weather, then because I've been so busy, I need the rest, or some other excuse.
This applies to many situations, but I'm seeing the common thread as Pleasure. I feel an internal struggle about things I'm doing solely for pleasure. I was only able to identify this after shopping with my bestie. We each bought a pair of boots. I had no way to justify these boots. They weren't on sale. They aren't replacing another pair. I'm not celebrating anything in particular. I don't need them. I felt so uncomfortable about them that I left them in my car for 4 days because I didn't want to face my partner about them (he loves fashion, so not even an issue... but my mind was pulling out all the stops to trigger my standard "guilty" response).
I'd even forgotten the conversation my girlfriend and I had in the store. What are these shoes helping us Say Yes to? That we are deserving of pleasure. A bit of decadence even. That we want and have enough financial prosperity to support ourselves and donate to people who've been affected by the fires and to an artist friend in need. That we love having fun. We love fashion and style. We do not need to deprive ourselves (aka, put ourselves down or dim our lights) to help someone else. We are in the business of lifting people up. Helping them — YOU — to rise up and shine. No other justification needed.
What are you saying Yes to with your choices and actions? What do you want to say Yes to?
I'd seriously love to know. If you have a moment, comment and let me know. After writing this, I'm saying Yes to pleasure (and more than in the food realm, which often turns on me), and I'm wearing the boots confidently and with a big smile to help spread my pleasure around.
May you feel the magick of life this holiday season!
