Waking Up: a new perspective for a new year

It's a bit belated: happy new year! That's a wish to you rather than a statement. My start to 2013 has been sluggish, dramatic, and eye opening... and that's just the first 11 days, my oh my.

Each year I have a tough transition from the craziness of November and December to the quieter month of January. I'm talking about more than parties and presents. That time of year is so busy for my business that I go into response mode. Mostly I'm doing is what people tell me... orders come in, I make those pieces. I also have a part time job with increased hours at the holidays. I really don't have to think too much, simply show up at work (whether my studio or the gallery) and perform.

Then along comes January. My first desire is to sleep in. Get back into cooking. Let my natural motivation return, yet it's suddenly hard to be lost in the sea of "what do I do now?" This year it was a big sign that I had strayed off course and wasn't keeping myself grounded in my regular business (as well as some personal) practices and routines.

Rather than bemoaning it all and beating myself up, I'm turning the page. For sure I'm celebrating the number of times I worked out or got out for a run, even though I know I want to increase that in 2013. It took me a week before I could summon up some goals and inititiatives for 2013, and they are often being clarified, modified or added to. I didn't even give myself breathing space in December to properly reflect on 2012, so I'm doing that now as part of January's goals.

I'm returning to some of my basic methods and business practices (like blogging, imagine that!) and tracking my results so I can see what I'm getting done. This always motivates me to do more. I have a digital To Do list supplemented by a paper tracking system because I like seeing what's been done, not just deleting things off my list and feeling like there's and endless number of things to still do... the papers show me results and help in reflecting on accomplishments over the year if I need a reminder.

Also, I'm trying something new: accountability partners. Monday is our first gathering. We are each solopreneurs in different fields. We set our own goals. Every 2 weeks we will meet to review what's been done, what didn't get done and why (not for excuses, but for brainstorming and help with breaking down large projects into smaller tasks), and what's next on the goals. We are each hoping that these meetings will add that extra level of umph to help our businesses reach a new level in 2013. Not to say that all goals are business oriented, because we all know that life is a mix of everything... rarely can we keep each compartment perfectly separate from the others.

Which brings me to my last point. When I drop off (from blogging, say, or newsletters, Facebook, etc.), it's a sign that I'm overwhelmed. I can pile up the excuses: too many orders, social engagements, etc. but the reality is that I'm neglecting something. It's my way of shutting down and ignoring whatever my heart is telling me, which could be as simple as rest, or get up 2 hours earlier so I'm not so panicked during the day, or simply say no to social engagements rather than running myself all the way to empty.

This year I've had more than a wake up call. I'm an eternal optimist and am continually looking at these things as gifts that I have to open again and again to find the hidden meanings. First I damaged my back at the gym of all places! I wasn't doing anything crazy, and I was in a class with a trainer, but my body needed me to slow down. I've now learned where I need to focus on future workouts, and I'm doing a lot more cross training. I'm at 95% recovery after just a week, which I attribute to fabulous body work and my efforts to get back into shape... but I'd rather go slower and stronger and ask questions than fast and out of control.

Two days after my back injury, my boyfriend totalled his truck driving home one night (he totally flipped, rolled, and survived). That was a tough text to wake up to the next morning. There are a lot of details to the story that I won't go into; we have had a lot of discussions and are each rebuilding our lives in our own healthy (or healthier) ways. We want to help each other, but we can only be partners for each other -- we each have our own journey.

We are staying together and working to rebuild some past hurts. I've done a lot of reflection on how I got to this point on my own path, various choices I've made over the years. I'm making some new resolutions that I'm really excited about, mainly I'm stepping away from alcohol because I haven't been happy about the negative connotations it's had in my life since day 1. Anyone who knows me, knows that I constantly struggle with the role of alcohol. Not that I have an unhealthy relationship with it, but that I have a relationship with it at all.

My stories from my past are not nightmarish like some, yet they always bring bile to my stomach and cause my brow to furrow. Sexy, eh? So, I'm setting myself free. There might be times it's a social challenge, but one of my deep desires for 2013 and always is to be more true to myself and accepting of myself, reasons and beliefs. I want to find, explore and live my life's passions! Part of my motivation to this wake up call is solidarity with my boyfriend who will fight different demons on his path. That's a good way to start, but we can only achieve our goals if they are aligned with our passions and core being. So I searched my own soul and decided that I was happy -- truly happy! -- to let this drinking part of my life go.

Here's to creating happy memories and a new improved self (and business) in 2013! Many people have shared their resolutions on my Facebook fan page... I'd love to here more! Please share in the comments here or on Facebook. It's empowering to state them or share goals publicly... it's the first step towards accountability. It also allows you to hear how it feels so you know if it's really a goal that touches your core and that you feel passionate about and have the right motivations. I'll be sharing more of mine as 2013 continues to unfold (hopefully a bit less dramatically!).