Self Care: Alphabiotics

Today I woke up feeling like "it's one of those days." Sleep eluded me for several hours last night, which throws me off my rhythm. I couldn't muster enough energy to get up, so I read in bed and eventually drifted back to sleep — never as restful as it sounds.My frustration came in because this is my day off. I want to feel good today. I want to feel relaxed and focused with a touch of momentum for various projects that have been taking up brain waves yet going nowhere.I did yoga, had a nourishing breakfast and drank lots of water… somewhat resigning myself to zombie mode (so frustrating because my day off sets the tone for the next several days… I really want to have a foundation laid for feeling good).Given my recent break up, I've been on a self care regimen — scheduling a treatment every week as finances allow. I'm trying new things and revisiting past faves. This morning I went to an Alphabiotics session with Jeffrey Williams in Nevada City. It's been a couple of years since he's aligned me, and boy did I need it.In only 30 minutes I feel like a new person. My mind is no longer scattered — wondering if I should go to the mall or run errands all day or do any number of distractions. Sadness still lives inside me, but it's a flowing river rather than piles of rocks weighing down my chest, pulling on my neck and constricting my shoulders.In my understanding, Alphabiotics is a realignment of the brain. It helps to balance the left and right hemispheres, which tend to get out of balance as we experience Fight or Flight or Freeze modes in our lives and hang onto them rather than shaking them off and letting them pass through.Jeffrey can do quick realignments akin to chiropractic work, but my intuition told me to book a 30 minute session. We did breathing and visualization together. He saw things and reflected them back to me so powerfully — between his visions and my own, I have powerful imagery to call to mind. He works with embodiment as well, so through breathing and gently coaching, I called light and feeling into my body.He took me out of my current pain and helped me reprogram and experience a new sensation so I can call up both the imagery and the feelings anytime I'm feeling disconnected or lost.Throughout all of this he's massaging tension points and voicing the most beautiful sounds to assist my body in resetting its vibration and relax more deeply.The adjustments themselves felt as though my brain unplugged for just a moment. There was such relief followed by gently buzzing and sparkles as everything came back online. I feel such trust and lightness now… a perfect place to be for a grey day off.Jeffrey helped me see my sadness. A lot of it is tied to unconsciousness in the world. I'm so sad for people who don't want to wake up and would rather live in denial or oblivion, escaping through drugs, alcohol, video games, etc. etc.He could feel the weight within me that my relationship brought. No one is to blame (it was a mutual coming together and weight formed by the relationship), yet letting that relationship go will eventually provide relief. It's as if I had wings and they were bound to my back. As he described this, I could feel the pain of truth — feel the spot on my back that passed through my solar plexus — cry out for relief.He could see that I'm working to surround myself by people in the light, working on consciousness. Yet there's an internal desire rising within me to not be the brightest light. I need to find others who have a stronger, further reaching, radiant light so I can feel and understand it. Their light will help to light my path. It will also give me comfort. I will not feel so alone.In my imagery I saw and felt a grounded version of an otherworldly me. Lean, with a core strength that supported a beautiful softness. I had long dark hair amidst a flowing white gown. My quiet strength and beauty radiated a soft glow to the surrounding mossy woods. Moths flitted in this comforting darkness as a gentle smile rested on my lips enjoying this peacefulness.My vision jumped to another aspect — a woman of fire with layered robes of orange and red, wings of rust and iridescent blackness. With wings stretched behind and head thrown back, she called forth sounds from the molten center of the earth. She is powerfully alive and fiercely vibrant. She embodies that and does not care about others' judgement. She does not need anything reflected back. She has a fury that she does not unleash on others. It burns inside her and radiates heat. Her eyes are intense.Ah, yes — the Gemini nature. Conjuring two images of self rather than focusing on one. That duality is who I am and how I feel whole. The power that emanates from these two goddesses comforts me and lifts me up. I hope to become them someday and continue to take steps in their direction, reminding myself that these goddesses are not separate, they live inside me. They are me, whether future or past or otherworldly. we are one.Flashes of "real life" also appeared, with ideas for how to evolve and feel the ways I want to feel in my life.All that in a matter of minutes. What a relief to dig below the mundane and access the divine even for a moment.Now I will go forth and dive into the life of humanity — with a new sense of connection to self, conscious flow, and earth.