My fitness tracker replaced my boyfriend

A few weeks ago — pre break up, as my mind so diligently reminds me — I read The 5 Love Languages. This book had been suggested to me several times over the years, always with the clause "it's slightly cheesy but good," and one sleepless night I decided to download it onto my Nook reader.I read the book all in one night amidst so many tears. I lay there wondering what my mom's love language was and if I could've done more to help her feel loved. I also replayed various interactions and could see that they were love languages, just not mine. Other relationships and friendships played through my head as I continued to read, and eventually I fell asleep on a wet pillow to absorb this new knowledge.The next day I looked up the quiz online to find out what my love language was. On a whim I printed 2 copies because I knew my boyfriend and I were getting together that night. I was pretty sure I knew what his primary language was, but I figured it would be a silly thing to do together to learn about each other and talk about the ways we could support each other and show love in the ever-changing landscape of our quite independent lives.Given that dream scenario in my head, it's no wonder that my primary love languages are words and spending quality time together. I'm glad I learned this about myself and know where the other 3 fall after that.The quiz moment with my boyfriend was a disaster with much grumbling, super pissy feelings and an end result of tossing the the thing at me with proclomations of how stupid and pointless it was, and the night got more fun from there (hello, wet pillow night #2).We tried talking a tiny bit, but it devolved to immaturity because we've never much discussed our feelings unless we were forced to. So we watched a movie to patch things up.Jump ahead a couple weeks — life goes on as it's wont to do. I've been working on my health and my weight for the past few months — inadvertently joining Weight Watchers (again) when Oprah got on board (can I take a moment and say woo! 19 pounds down! more to go but I feel real progress).Apparently the fitness point system has been challenging given the 2 camps — those with fitness trackers (which track every step throughout the day in addition to workouts) and those without (who only log specific workouts and therefor get way fewer fitness points in a given week). I need all the fitness points I can get, so I decided to research fitness trackers and jumped on board by getting a Jawbone UP2.Immediately I could see the impact a small walk had on my day. I love the metrics and the graphics. Very quickly I categorized the Jawbone in with my favorite personal trainers of all time — Boris the Russian and the military guy who taught me to box, both from my Chicago days.To clarify, it doesn't exactly push me the way a trainer does, but the app will give me ideas on how to reach my goal. It also sets goals a little higher than an average activity day for me, so there's motivation to make a little extra effort.The fitness tracker came into my life a few hours before my unexpected breakup. The thing I really enjoy about it is that it speaks my primary love language — Words of Affirmation. It cheers me on, makes cheesy little faces and gives me compliments that make me feel good. I had a secret hope that the fitness tracker would help me feel more loved since words were something my guy didn't dole out.Well, we all know how that panned out, but it's not all bad. Feeling loved is not only about romantic relationships. Ginger, my business partner, and I talked about our love languages with each other so we can help each other feel loved. It's a conscious effort as well as a desire to make that effort to show love. Ginger's #1 is physical touch, so I try to remember to hug her, stand close or reach out because those gestures do not come naturally to me outside of romantic relationships. But I want her to know that I love her — and for her to really be able to hear it and feel loved — so I do my best, even if it comes out in a strange accent with awkward vocabulary as learning any new language does.I'm lucky that my language is easily implemented by a device so my base line level of feeling loved doesn't dip too low. Knowing that my #1 and #2 languages are virtually tied reminds me to dig a little deeper to explore what Quality Time (my #2) means for me and to keep tabs on it by helping people with projects or planning uninterrupted time with friends and girlfriends. Walking with my fitness tracker does not satisfy that core desire.xoxo to you all — may you find and ask for the love you need and build a loving life so you can thrive in your creative juiciness. We can't do it alone, even with — especially with — modern technology.