Holy shit, I just quit Netflix!

My heart is racing 30 minutes later. It scares me to confess this. The idea came to me while texting with painter friend Sheila Cameron. We were talking about breaking through stress paralysis, which just happened for me a little over a week ago.

I'd been feeling frozen about (lack of) finances (again). Every time it happens I wonder how I got into such a stressful situation. It's no fun to worry about paying rent and buying groceries — those core fundamental securities.

In these situations I can usually tap into brainstorming — this is where all the ideas come out from selling my body to living in a tent in the woods (as well as more realistic ideas like posting to Etsy more and designing new jewelry).

This has been my numbing agent and stimulus of choice for the past few years.

But then there's Netflix. I can stress and worry and brainstorm… then escape from it all and not do anything. I quit drinking 3 years ago, and I've never been a drug person… yet Netflix was taking that same role of escapism.

Ugh.

Is Netflix bad? No. But when the idea to quit it entered my mind… my heart leaped with joy (and is still racing from fear too). What am I going to do? Well, for one… I might let go of the story that I don't have time for the studio, time for writing more regularly, time for reading a wider variety of books, time to do dishes after dinner, time to write holiday cards. In this one action, I've just made time for magick and created space for connecting with myself, my life and my passions. There are still plenty of ways for me to zone out if I don't feel like "doing" something. So don't worry about me.

Making this choice today — Imbolc — feels like planting a seed for those blossoms I've been yearning to see in my life. I've made the space and am excited to see what happens. Just don't tell my boyfriend yet.