Feel the Change First
A week or so ago, a fellow jeweler posted a plea to a private Facebook group for artists. She mentioned that low sales at shows -- even though her work was the best ever – were resulting in no motivation to go in the studio because she has ample inventory.
When I read her post, I felt as though I’d written it myself at different points in my career. I’ve been at such similar crossroads myself, and I still struggle with it. For me, I got so used to the make-show-sell cycle that I only found gratification in my studio as part of that cycle. I lost touch with the playing/exploring side, trying new things, and making something that looks totally different from what I’ve made before.
So, when show sales dropped, my motivation to make dropped because I didn’t feel the need to make. Since I’m taking a break from shows this year, my motivation dropped even more. I felt like my work had no purpose and thus there was no reason to go into the studio. Then I realized that even when orders came in, I would sometimes drag my feet (I’ve learned long ago that money is actually not a great motivator for me).
I’ve taken various classes, joined creativity groups, filled orders, created challenges for myself… but the truth is that I still haven’t re-trained myself to see my studio as a play land that I once did. I remember (fondly!) the days when I couldn’t wait to get home from work just so I could go into my studio… I loved it, looked forward to it, and enjoyed my time and explorations there so much. I never knew what would come of my studio sessions… whether beautiful new pieces or a giant ball of tangled wire from what I considered failed experiments. The result didn’t matter… the time spent there did. And when a collection of seemingly good pieces developed, I would have a show and send them out into the world. This would sometimes take months – in the beginning of having a studio life, I was rarely working towards a show or other deadline.
Here’s what I’ve been trying recently to change my whole mindset, which is going to take some time, patience and practice. I’m going to give two examples to show how I re-program my brain.
A year or two ago I could no longer ignore some health and stress concerns of traveling all over the country doing art shows, yet I wasn’t sure exactly how to restructure my life. I decided to focus on how I wanted to feel. For one, I wanted to feel healthy and vibrant. I also wanted to feel more connected to my community where I had recently moved. I then looked at what were the things taking the biggest toll on my health and made a variety of changes from dietary to lifestyle. I looked at why I was feeling disconnected from my community and realized that my travels prevented me from being able to commit to a regular schedule. I didn’t like that I had to say no to things just on the basis of not being home, which didn’t really feel like a choice I was making.
Coming from a place of feeling allowed me the space to consider not doing shows, to move to a place in town, and to even pick up a small part time job. I also joined a few organizations and started to trust that my contacts and online community would support me through purchases.
Things were going good! I experienced many shifts. Letting go of something allows space for new things to come in. Sometimes I over compensate and let in too many new things. That’s okay. I’m figuring out new priorities and will continue to adjust.
A few months ago, I realized I was still feeling a sense of demotivation about my studio life. I’m not sure why, but I decided to not put my attention on that. Instead I did the same thing as before and decided to project out how I wanted to feel. I realized I wanted to feel like the work I was doing was significant. That people cared about it, that I cared about it, and that it helped people somehow. I also realized that I wanted to be part of a team where I could feel motivated and that all our efforts were for some larger contribution. These were all very abstract ideas to me, yet I realized I couldn’t fulfill these desires by forcing myself to work alone in my studio making jewelry, and I wasn’t financially able to bring someone else on to join me.
I also had no idea what I would do to welcome these feelings into my life. I glanced at a few job boards, but that process immediately depressed me, so I trusted that something would open up. I started talking to people about how I wanted to feel. I wasn’t sure if I was looking for a job per se, yet I calculated the bare minimum amount I needed to support my lifestyle in the hopes that taking the financial pressure off my jewelry business would help to open the door to playfulness or at least a new found comfort.
As I talked to people about how I wanted to feel, huge shifts happened very quickly. I worked with myself on remaining open to whatever opportunities might come up, and 2 jobs came up where people were looking for design and marketing skills (many other things came up that I turned down). Not at all what I expected, yet I was excited to know that these were skills I could offer. And I was (am!) excited about the partnerships. I love the companies and the shifts that are happening within me.
Today I had a conversation with an artsy girlfriend who also juggles many roles. She finds time to do so many things that I admire… exercise, blogging, crafting, developing classes, one on one connections with friends, photography… all above and beyond her daily roles and responsibilities of wife, mother, and business owner to name a few biggies. I told her the various tricks I’ve been trying to get myself into the studio, and now I have even less time than ever. She mostly said, “you’re not making it a priority,” and she’s right. When something’s a priority, I find the time.
My next step is to figure out how I want to feel in my studio, about my studio, and about the work I produce there. This might give me some purpose and direction, and since feeling good is a priority, I think my studio life will become more alive and a higher priority on my weekly commitments list. It’s definitely a relationship I want to foster and see what comes out of the next phase… I’ve got my fingers crossed for a second honeymoon!
The businessy part of my brain doesn’t want to scare you off from placing orders for the holiday season… I have several on my plate, and they are helping me to get over this hump. I’m grateful for the support, and it’s heartwarming to know that people do love my work and appreciate what it takes to create it. My work is available online via kathyfrey.com, Etsy, and Artful Home, and several galleries around the country carry a selection of my newest creations.