Does joy live at the bottom of a coffee cup?

A couple days ago I re-started the journey to be caffeine-free. I’ve been here before. I may be here again.

But every time I emerge from the 3-day withdrawal headache and start coming back to my own energy, I wonder what lured me in in the first place. 

Getting Curious

This is where I think about the types and levels of joy.

There’s the anticipation of that first delicious sip. The ritual of brewing tea or going to a local coffee shop… a morning sunrise adventure with my sweetie, a treat that bonds us together that feels leisurely. In a pandemic, it’s a slice of “normal,” even with masks and navigating.

This all sounds fun, right? Why change a good thing that clearly brings some level of joy?

There are diminishing returns.

That’s how I know this isn’t the type of joy I’m going for. Maybe this isn’t joy at all.

In this case, caffeine becomes a habit. I reach for it instead of water. I try to pull more and more pleasure from it while needing more to do so.

When a friend asked me what motivated me to give up caffeine, especially with all that giddy pleasure wrapped up in it, I blurted that I wanted to be in tune with my own energy.

Oooh, I took a moment to listen to myself. 

A deeper layer of joy for me is to love myself more, just as I am.

The Journey of Awareness

It’s still a journey even with that awareness.

I have strategies to replace tea. As I return to a healthy flow, I drink more water to maintain the good vibes I have going rather than trying to sway them.

This trickles down to more healthful eating choices.

Which is followed by the panic of: you don’t drink alcohol or caffeine, you eat healthy, you don’t smoke or do drugs… What do you do for fun? What are your vices?

And that’s where the real “work” of joy begins. Luckily the payoff is FUN and JOY itself. Followed by deeper layers of fulfillment.

It takes effort to make new choices, even ones that are joyful. 

I’m replacing the “quick fixes” with deeper, more nurturing options. I have to think about them and feel into them, especially during a pandemic… it requires creativity and intention.

I could easily slip into doing more work because that’s gratifying in its own way, but that’s a path to burnout no matter how much you love it (been there, done that). There are movies, TV and scrolling online.

Joy is not about numbing out or doing more for more’s sake.

Exploring joy makes you a more interesting person. Oh, and did I mention?, a happier person.

Dive into a hobby. Get into nature. Color. Read. Write. Expand your physical practice. Do some witchy shit. Get your crafty vibes on. Sit in a hottub. Take a nap. Rub yourself with oil. Have someone else rub you with oil. 

Joy gets juicy but it also takes engagement. If it feels like too much effort, you may be in burnout.

What have you been putting off? What makes you come alive? How can you experience joy right now? Today?

Joy is not about delayed gratification.

A lot of my joyful explorations take less time than going to a coffee shop, so I weave them into my days. Others are deep dives with luxurious spaciousness. 

Diving Deeper

In addition to exploring joy, I’m also contemplating: what is the caffeine a stand for?  

Ask that question about anything you’re wanting to cultivate a new relationship with. (What is X a stand for? or What is X bringing into your life?)

I was surprised to find that caffeine during the pandemic became a stand for spontaneity, connection with my love as well as a deep longing for pauses throughout my day.

Seeing those answers allows me to bring those desires intentionally into my awareness to cultivate them in new ways.

More than that, I felt those longings. The deep feelings under the surface searching for a way to be fulfilled.

The desire for pause awareness was huge… emotion welled up inside of me because it showed me how the more-more-more programming I was raised in was sneaking back into my life.

So that’s where I’m heading. Power to the Pause.

Diving into that desire to Pause sparks possibility. There are lots of truly joyful things to explore during a pause. Just thinking of that lights me up. It makes me feel more creative and connected.

Joy is all about connection to me. Connection to the beauty of being and the beauty of this life.

How I can support you

I’m here to support you on your journey of Taming the Tangles that come up in your life so you can cultivate this deeper connection to joy and what makes you come alive.

If you’re yearning for support or feel stalled out in exploring possibilities, book a complimentary Spark Session with me and we’ll dive into exploring what makes you feel alive.