Who's on your team?

This past week I was made aware that I'm building a team. I've lead teams in the past and have been part of them, but they were more through happenstance than intention.

What is this team I'm building? It's my crew. Whether you like sports analogies or sailing analogies, the gist is essentially building a team of people where you are the Star Player (to borrow a term from comedian Katt Williams). You are not leading this team or coaching this team. Your values are the driving force, the North Star. You may be steering the ship (for you are the captain of your soul, to paraphrase William Ernest Henley), but those values pull you forward and your crew helps you stay on course, redirect around obstacles, lifts you up and helps harness winds when they are favorable.

You hold the vision and the mission. You do the work and tend to your needs. You are keeping your life pointed where you want it to go.

When life gets rocky, new input comes in, you get sidetracked by new exciting destinations, you start listening to the stories out in the world and maybe your shoulders start to slouch… that's when you call on your team. Any time doubt, distraction, or loss of focus cloud your vision… call on them. You don't have to dump on them. You lay the situation on the line. They remind you of your values, your purpose, your drive, your spark. They clear the clutter so you can tune in to you again.

Then everybody breaks and goes back to doing their good work in the world, for the team and for your specific goals which also feeds into their goals and purpose in the world.

This all feels quite abstract since it's all so new to me, so here's what it's looking like in real life. My tax person is no longer doing taxes, so she recommended an accounting firm to me. I've worked with many accountants in my time because, hello, creative entrepreneur here. Numbers give me information but they don't light me up. My thoughts were usually wanting accuracy, audit prevention and a good reputation. Honesty was the only value I considered; everything else was skill based.

For some reason, meeting with this accounting firm almost threw me into a panic attack. I'm rewriting my story right now but am still very much in the midst of low, erratic artist income. I love my life, but I felt insecurity about a numbers person judging me on my particular numbers.

It so happens that I've been talking with a financial adviser. I'm working hard to rewrite my financial story into a long-burning, romantic love affair, and this guy is helping me do it. When he heard me feeling small and insecure about this meeting, he requested a phone call STAT.

That phone call was more than a pep talk; it was much-needed oxygen for my guttering flame. This adviser told me to OWN this meeting. I'm building MY team. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks — all that matters is whether I want this person on my team. I don't need his approval or vote of confidence. I need to trust myself.

He reminded me that I care more about my values, particularly freedom, as well as connection and heart. This was a good wake up call that no one is going to hold my hand or do my job for me. I'm making the decisions and need to tune in to myself and trust my judgment in selecting team members and do this from a grounded and confident place. He told me that the easiest way to gauge whether or not I want someone on my team is to ask myself — Would I feel comfortable calling this person?Simple as that.

This talk changed everything for me. I stood taller. I felt empowered and confident. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn't meeting an accountant feeling small and seeking approval or worthiness (will you have me as a client?). I was assessing a fellow team mate — Will we work well together? Do you understand me and my style? Do we respect each other's abilities and what we each bring to the table?

Meeting the accountant turned into a wonderful conversation and connection. One of the biggest coups was when he said, "I want more clients like you." That's when I realized we serve on each other's teams, bringing our strengths into play out in the world. He knows my strength isn't money and numbers. He knows I value happiness more than income. We so enjoyed discussing that. He supports my desire to thrive but will also always check in about the happiness quotient. He wants to be part of a team, adding support to those visionaries who are living life on their terms (which he also does). I've already sent several more people his way (let me know if you want a referral).

Part of me questions what I'm doing with this team. My soul knows I'm building a life with an intentional base of support. Whatever I'm doing, I feel more ready than I ever have. I mindfully look at many of my friends and acquaintances a little differently now… wondering how we serve on each other's teams.

Life is sweetest when shared. Yes, even for an introvert. I fill with gratitude and have a renewed sense of purpose when I can lift someone up so they can keep reaching for their dreams. I want to surround myself with similar people. We can create the life we want and build the teams we want to support us through it. It helps to not put all this pressure and expectation on one person like a partner. Spread it out. I recommend a mixture of friends and professionals (coaches, personal trainers, service associates). Try intentionally building a team where you are each bringing your strengths to the table while you are holding the torch of the vision and mission.