Stop Giving Power Away: A Health Perspective

As I've been reconnecting with my power, I've also been giving thought to how we each give our power away. I don't recommend wandering down this thought path often because it can lead to feeling ever more powerless and hopeless with a hearty dose of self flagellation because it's hard to look at tough stuff broadly and not remember the specific details and situations that caused the lapse in power. These inquiries are best done in a safe place with yourself that builds trust rather than erodes it. So, first, remember you're your own best friend. If that doesn't feel true, then you've already got an inkling into why and how you give your power away. Loving yourself helps you stay in your power.

Common Power Leak: The Medical System

One of the most common ways people give their power away is through the medical health system. Doctors do hold a place of power. They have knowledge and experience. Sometimes we have to put complete trust in them, when we've had a sudden accident. These situations don't mean we have to trust all doctors at all times, though. You are the master of your body. You know how you feel and how you want to feel, and you are the only one who knows this. That's a fact.

Feeling Broken Diminishes Power + Destroys Perspective

Too often in health situations we feel broken. We only see a doctor when we are sick rather than proactively. We show up, bowed down and suffering, and immediately put them in power. In these moments of suffering, it's most challenging for us to connect to our own power centers. We lose sight of our goals, our vibrancy, what we're working towards, and how we want to be in the world. We'll do anything — anything— to get what we want and need in the moment (a return to health) without any regard for the big picture.

Often we're handed a prescription because all parties involved in this situation — doctors and patients — want a quick fix. Because, really, both parties are powerless. The doctor isn't allowed to step into her full power of understanding physical health, and the patient isn't able to hold onto any ideals and isn't in a state to willingly get to the root of the issue. Often that takes time, resilience and consistency. It's some deep work to lay yourself in the deep devotion required to maintain your body at a level of health — but it sure is a great way to get your power back.

Survival Mode Becomes a Way of Life

This whole medical scenario is a bit of a parable. These dynamics show up in so many aspects of life when we have power leaks. When we are desperate and our safety is threatened — or any time we've allowed ourselves to continually operate this way without fully recharging our power — we lose sight of our values. We click in to survival mode and lose connection to service. That deep service to our souls and our lives. This happens in so many areas, but I'll continue the thread.

You are the Captain: Own it

The tricksy thing with our health system is that we aren't taught to use our own intuition. We aren't encouraged to go to another doctor if we don't like one, and it's not easy to do so. But it's crucial. You need to stand up for yourself and tune in to the energy you want in your life. What type of support you need. Take a moment to gather yourself and tune in. Show up with an agenda when going to an appointment. You need to take charge. Advocate for you. Write out all your questions. Have an intention for the meeting. Speak your future goals; honor your desired state of being. Speak any fears aloud. And ask, ask, ask. Each doctor visit is an interview. They are joining your team. You are bringing someone on to care for you in the way that you want. They may have knowledge you don't have, which is why they deserve a seat at the table, but only a seat. One seat. You sit at the helm. You hold the meeting. You set the agenda.

This is empowering, and there's no denying this is hard work. I hear the frustrations of many people in my life (including myself) griping about experiences such as these because they opted to simply show up and see what the other person brought to the table when they/we ourselves showed up with nothing but expectations and no agenda or intention. Essentially showing up submissive and powerless. Other people feel this and try to rise up and fill this place of power that only you should hold.

This message isn't merely about health. It's about everything. We brush our power off so easily. We ask people for their opinions — designers, workmen, lawyers, tax preparers — and then forget to align with our own values when we receive them. We do need those insights. We don't know what we don't know… but we need to hold tight to what we do know. Our values. Vision. How we want to show up in the world.

Whether health, finances, legal matters, business or design consulting, it's important to share your values and big picture perspective so that the "expert" gets a sense of how the specific situation at hand fits in to your life at large and can ultimately support you in holding this line rather than overriding it.

This helps us act in the light and proactively take our seat of power and feel supported in doing so.

Mindfully Share the Big Picture (or have an advocate who can do so)

In a health situation, we may be speaking from extreme pain and fear, making proclamations to "do whatever it takes" to return to health. I've learned to give a bigger picture. I tell doctors I like to work naturally and get to the root of any issues. I ask how can I be more proactive?

I tell them my fears about addictions and my desires to not take medications as much as possible. If I feel disrespected or shamed, I ask for another doctor. I ask them to give me several scenarios. To tell me a variety of options so I feel empowered to make a choice, not forced into a decision. I remind them my goal is an active, vibrant lifestyle. That I want a physical body that supports all that I want to do and be.

Choices = Empowerment

Often the path they lay out that I'm most drawn to is hard because it involves lifestyle change. I choose this from my place of power, and with that I also have a deeper knowing. I know I'll need support on this path, and I know doctors aren't generally setup for this support. So I ask for advice from them as to how to best get support so I can round out my team of peeps who are there specifically to help me stay in my place of power.

The Sign of a Good Team

When I'm tired and seemingly wantto give my power away, deferring to others and trying to force them to step up… well, I know I have a good team when they won't take this bait. They get to work on my various power sources, reminding me of my values, life goals and motivations. They step in to get me back online. They are there to lift me up and keep insisting that I guide the path. This push back is very empowering. You may not like it at first, totally wishing someone else would just do the thing.That's not their job. Their job is to keep you in a place of power, and your job is to take that seat. Own it. You'll be glad you did and feel more empowered for it. I hope you have a team like this in place.