What Trolls Teach Us About Trust
Hello, curious soul ~
Lately in my household we've been selling a lot of stuff online. If you've done this recently, YOU KNOW.
All my judgments come out about flakes, people who won't do their own research, the bartering, ghosting, no-shows, all the issues of excess stuff… and then there are THE TROLLS.
I had a payment troll recently. After some serious fraud last year, a couple red flags went up, but nothing concrete so I kept answering questions.
Looking back, I gave out way too much info, but ultimately nothing compromising. After reporting, banning and blocking, I had some minutes of beating myself up — all the old scripts from childhood started playing right on cue… gullible, stupid, no common sense…
Then I started to rant and get angry about “these people,” “wasting their creativity,” and how I want to be a trusting person, but clearly that's not possible in the world anymore. I must return to being vigilant! Like the Kathy of my 20s who lived alone in the big city!
As fate would have it, I had to read pages for my book club meeting the next morning. So, with mind churning, I picked up “A Thousand Names for Joy” by Byron Katie. The subtitle? Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are.
Words that started a questioning within me rose from the page. As I laid in bed, I began to embrace this learning experience of the trolls and love myself more for having a trusting and generous heart.
In that space I asked my softened, relaxed self for any strategies I could employee for navigating this online terrain I deem so frustrating. The reply?
“Stay curious.”
My own words and favorite sign off in block letters across my mind. Curiosity seems this joyful and whimsical thing, but it's also a tool that can be directed.
When I had red flags going off, a good strategy would've been to ask questions rather than answer them. Trolls assume this air of authority that dominates an interaction.
I'm learning time and time again to slow down, pause, step away, and ask questions rather than hand out info.
These skills take practice and confidence, but they do not belie a trusting heart… because the one we end up trusting is OURSELF.
The more I trust myself, the more I can trust the world.
How does that resonate with you?
That's the beautiful takeaway I received from this irritating situation. And, shutting down the troll from behind the scenes opened up the energy to connect with a new jeweler who was really excited to purchase the equipment I was selling. When I realized I could trust myself, a wonderful, trusting person showed up.
That's how a mundane situation turned magical for me this week. May you have similar reframes so you can continue to show up true to who you really are, away from the stories the mind presents.
As always…