Artists, do you feel like "The Time Traveler's Wife"?
Tonight I watched "The Time Traveler's Wife," which I thoroughly enjoyed because I waited a good long while to watch it after reading the book (I've also listened to the audiobook, which I highly recommend... very well done with dual narrators).
It was a good night for me to watch it. My sweetie and I have just passed the halfway mark of when we will get to see each other in person again (6 weeks total come May 20). It can be a tough life, the life of a show artist. We all allude to it to each other, yet rarely do we get down into talking about it. Mostly because I for one strive to be "in the now," otherwise you get hung up in constantly wanting to be somewhere where you are not. That's an evil mind game that will suck the energy right out of you.
The intertwined lives of two show artists becomes a delicate dance as well... lots of calendars and keeping track of what you are doing as well as what they are doing. I don't do well with looking too far ahead when it's particularly hairy with lots of cross-country travel.
What I liked about the movie, however, is that it's a great reminder of how two people who are involved are each still very independent and leading their own lives. Your life can't stop when the other is gone, and, sadly, you can't share everything. This is hard because a lot of time, experiences, and processing can happen... you have to find ways to still feel connected and to share some of the inner dialogue in addition to the everyday stuff that's just happening.
In my own life, I find this easier to do with someone who understands the emotional roller coaster of shows and travel, as well as the emotional toll of being away from home. Shows can sound so glamorous. Over time, fellow artists can become a family away from home... yet it's not the same as being home, which is something I always yearn for even when I'm caught up in the moment and enjoying myself. This is a tough thing to explain, and it often leads to the feeling of leading two lives.
For me, at this point in my life when I am willing to take the risk of another relationship (why deprive myself of that happiness?), the movie was just a good reminder of striving for independence. I've always needed my own space, time alone, activities, and girl nights... things that are easy to lose sight of in the beginning of a new relationship where you are getting to know each other and enjoying so much time together (especially when in a new town where I don't have a solid friendship baseestablished yet). My hand is being forced a bit, but I think it's also healthy... and I'm glad to see a movie touch on the various moments of sadness and loneliness when the alone time falls on a holiday (or even just at dinner time), over-joyed happiness at reunion as well as the sometimes anger and frustration at the forced independence that lashes out at a reunion, and those moments when you realize you or the other person has changed due to their travels and how to span that gap.
The other tough thing with show travel is how differently time moves. There are times when it crawls... the traveling between shows and that apparent "down time" takes forever (yet this can be a grand time for lots of mental processing, evaluating, and scheming). Whereas shows are super-speed... so much happens with sales, networking, and various opportunities that arise; it sometimes feels like several weeks packed into one day. There are so many stories to tell; I often feel a bit of guilt when talking to someone who is not there on the trip because it can seem like they are doing and accomplishing relatively little by comparison. That becomes a delicate art... sometimes it's best to keep it in or get a lot of the energy out by talking with fellow artists and then calming down to a normal vibration when dialing outside of that stratosphere. It works both ways, though... on the road I yearn for quiet stories of home cooking, gardening, friends, and yet that can set in that feeling of waah! all the good stuff happens without me, etc.
These are just my thoughts, do they ring true? Do you have any survival tips to share?