For the past few days I haven't felt like an active participant in my life. I've been gently standing aside, watching from the sidelines. I've done some other lovely things like reading and gardening, but I haven't felt fully engaged. There's been a sense of waiting, and I'm not sure for what.

This is a pattern I can trace back to childhood that signals I'm withdrawing, disconnecting from my own power and becoming passive.

This seems to happen when I'm tending all the things and people around me but forget to tend my own deep well. Pull its waters up from the depths. Explore the sacred mysteries of my inner world, where there are no answers… just gentle knowing, fierce wisdom and more questions.

My mind tells me that going to these places within won't help me prepare for the week the way grocery shopping, cooking or mapping my calendar will… and yet I know deep in my bones that this untruth leads me astray and keeps me floating on the surface.

Plunging into the depths of self is like taking the first tentative step towards falling in love. The heart wants to leap but there's fear of the unknown expanse and the known emotions. There's a moment where time is neither here nor there. There's suspension and expansion all at once.

The mind becomes a tether with its questions — disguising as curiosity and caring but really a shield that keeps me from engaging with the world fully.

This type of communing with my soul and the energies beyond this earthly life opens my eyes to magic and mystery every day. It wipes the film from my pupils and allows my vision to taken the pulse of life within every being.

It helps me engage more fully, leaning in and reaching out rather than pulling back.

These experiences are interesting alone, explored through various practices, but they're more powerful when shared in circle. Where we sit and gather without the masks or email alerts. We let go of labels and sit together in mystery, unsure of what we'll unearth or reveal… fully willing to be seen as a multifaceted being with infinite spaces to be uncovered and explored.

If there's a part of you that's curious or yearning to gather together in this way, twice a month I host Writing With The Moon. I'd love to share it with you.

Recalibrate, my seasonal group coaching circle, starts later this Summer. Send me a message if you want to discuss ways to tap into you.