Anxiety

Anxiety. What a strange beast with muscled haunches, layers of dark feathers and slithering parts. Anxiety, the master of movement. Tough to pin down — rarely matched against an opponent that can do so.

Anxiety loves to travel with people. Become a part of their soul, their very essence transformed to twitchy, high strung, jumpy. Eyes dart. Thoughts stay unsettled, running auditions for the unknowable future.

Anxiety does not jive with Life. Life has mastered the curveball. The mysteriousness of what's never been done before. Life creates before consciousness. Reveals what hasn't been seen. 

Anxiety calls on what's been done, convinced it will happen again. Anxiety is the world's worst fortuneteller that keeps you coming back for more because it feels so real… who cares that it isn't accurate. Anxiety makes you feel prepared even though you lack sleep and startle at slight movements.

People harboring Anxiety also sport a backpack of anger, hidden behind a chiffon facade. Don’t believe me? Try giving ideas of how to ease an anxious mind to one of these delicate souls. The barbs rise, eyes grew fierce. “You don't understand!” they shriek, insisting that they do not need any ideas on how to ease anxiety. “I’ve tried everything!” Anxiety, a mask glued onto tender skin, weaves its roots into the mind and grows deeper through the chest and lungs, winding its way around organs to the solar plexus, curling up in the golden throne of power. 

Who holds on with hooked claws? Is Anxiety the one with the grip, or is it the gentle host providing a cozy seat?

The only way an anxious person will listen to ideas is if they come from an anxious soul. Then surely these ideas must work! No mind racing, eye bagged, bloodshot, quivering soul can trust a calm, straight-backed, rested and well fed foe. 

Don't you dare mention deep breathing or meditation. Eschew your advice to admonish coffee. Give up wine? Chocolate? You expect me to sacrifice simple pleasures that make life rich? Bah! to your massages and therapy sessions. Brain Dumps are ridiculous. Walking, running, swimming and biking. What’s the point? “I tried yoga once.” Give up social media? Gratitude practice? Mindfulness? Give me a prescription and unlimited streaming on Netflix. And pass the popcorn. I cherish my freedom.

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