Are Hidden Fears Holding You Back?
My "year of yes" journey to uncover and awaken passion and direction in my work through building a creative life has so far been a quest to identify motivations for doing (or not doing) things. I've directly criticized the desire to do things specifically for money because I'd often let the money override the whispers of the heart saying No-No-No! You don't want to do this thing! Don't let the money sway you! You've got to trust there is another way.
That dialog is rather telling. It came up again and again from opportunities coming to me. A form of complacency snuck into my "year of yes." In my desire to explore and try new things, I was sitting back and… waiting. I was putting my desire trip on the world instead of actively trying things. Instead of being brave and making myself truly uncomfortable by taking risks. And I wasn't using my super power: brainstorming and visioning myriads of possibilities.
Fear also lurks at the edges, convincing me that small steps are safest. Safest if you want to stay small! Or stay safe! That's not who I am or who I'm wanting to be, yet I've been afraid to take Bold Steps. One does not ask permission to take Bold Steps. That mere pause to formulate words kinks momentum and halts any courage that's been gathered.
I've been asking lots of permission. It's a form of fear for me. There's aspects of validation and wondering if I'm being seen or judged or encouraged. There's fear of misstepping and doing the wrong thing. Perfectionism shuts me down again, before I even start.
One part of me diagnoses Oh, this is a desire for mothering. How sweet. What an ah-ha!But in reality, permission is a bitch. I don't want to be anybody's bitch. And I don't need a mother. I need to tighten my belt and step out into the world. To live the life I want, I've got to be in this space more.
Inadvertently becoming passive and expecting opportunities to come my way so I could respond rather than taking the reins and making things happen and actively experimenting + wanting/needing permission = a very dangerous combination that resembles my deepest fear: stagnation.
When that fear gets tickled, I get busy. Something in motion can't be stagnant, right?Wrong. A certain kind of stagnation comes from wheel-spinning busy-ness (Instagram or Facebook scroll, anyone?).
If this inquiry is resonating with you as it is with me, try asking: What next BOLD step can I take?
Emphasize BOLD. Sometimes we need easy or tiny steps; other times we can go rock hopping and find a new path that wakes us up and shifts our perspective quickly. This is a confidence booster. Whether or not the leap is "successful," you showed up. You tried. You gathered courage. That *is* success. Not the perceived accomplishment. You are what matters. Show up and try. That is living big. That is bravery and daring. That's success, not being "good" or doing "right." I challenge you to step up and value the trying, the effort, the showing up 100% as you are in that moment (not when you are "ready" or some other perceived form of perfection).
With this awareness, I've taken a few BOLD steps across the board in my life in the last couple weeks. The steps themselves feel scary, but I feel so supported by those around me who are tired of seeing me play it safe. And just this week I've taken the BOLD step to try something new and sign up for a life coach to see what happens when I add a different kind of fuel to my fire all together.
I'm shaking in my boots here and also feel more alive. What about you? Do you feel inspired to take a bold step somewhere in your life? I'm here cheering you on in the courage to try and do bigger things rather than in the achievement of goals or results themselves.
